


Blue eyes and heartbreak.

by Loga119



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, High School, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, POV Multiple, inspired by Troye Sivan's music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5130164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loga119/pseuds/Loga119
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"you took a long time to miss me"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. HAPPY LITTLE PILL

**Author's Note:**

> This story is fictional and never happend in real life.  
> (inspired by real events and Troye Sivan's music.)

I feel empty.

I feel nothing.

The only way I feel something is when we work on the play the school is planning for the end of the year.

I wrote some of it, it was the first time ever that I wrote something and showed it to someone besides James, my best friend.

So writing makes me feel something, happiness mostly. Frustration and headaches other times.

The other good things about this play is Mike. He's the music guy.

We talk a lot, when I manage to create full sentences.

It's a stupid crush. I don't even know if he's gay. I'm pretty sure he's not.

But his blue eyes and beautiful smile always makes my day a little brighter, putting a spark of emotion in my heart.

It's a fucked up situation. When you need to relay on someone to make you feel less empty, more human. But this is my reality now. And I just roll with it because without his smile it's hard to work on more stuff for the play. It's hard to write something good. But as long as it's not hurting anyone, it's fine. Right?

* * *

 

Ok but you know when someone is really cute? Than that's Mike.

And today he was extra cute.

Am I falling in love?

Oh no.

* * *

 

So Mike and I had a talk today.

Let me rephrase it, today Mike and I were left alone to work on some last thing for the play, and after that we had one hell of a talk.

He asked about me, and I asked about him.

We talked about school and life, money and friends.

Everything and nothing, and the whole time I felt like I'm in heaven.

Because having someone like Mike to ask you about yourself and feeling like he's actually wants to know you better is something unusual.

And after a while, he asked about what I'm looking for in a guy.

I've been openly gay for over a year now, so I wasn't surprised that he knew.

I was surprised by the question.

So I told him the truth.

Told him I'm looking for someone I could have a talk with, someone that'll make me smile, someone good.

Without realizing it I described him.

But then… well, then I think I skipped a heartbeat.

He said, and I quote, "I think I know why you like guys. I wouldn't mind dating one." And then he added "I don't want to date any girly any time soon."

And for a second I was shocked, but after a second the classroom door opened, and Ella, the one playing the main character, got in.

Words were flying and then she said she needs to work on her song, so I left.

Mike's words were the only thing on my mind, and when I got home I was smiling.

And for the next few days I felt good.

I felt good because maybe, maybe there's a chance that he'll look at me, and see I have feeling for him.

Maybe we could have something…

* * *

 

Remember that talk I had with Mike?

It got better.

The show is in few minutes.

We're sitting backstage and Mike is cuter than usual. Unbelievable, I know.

He actually said, and I quote again, "I don't know what we would have done without you Ben. You're the best one on this team."

Can you hear me freaking out?

Cause I'm freaking out.

* * *

 

Not freaking out anymore.

I'm thankful for all the good feelings, for the feeling of hope, of love, of happiness.

But no more happiness and no more smiling.

The show was great, everybody loved it.

James was all like "I can't believe my best friend wrote this thing isn't he the best"

And I was like "shut up"

But when it ended, and we said goodbye and headed home, I saw Mike.

He came and hugged me, a tight hug that made me feel high for a second.

He smiled and said he loved working with me, and that he'll miss me.

And then I was like "yeah me too hahahahahaha" because at that moment, at that fucking moment, Ella came.

Fine, nothing unusual.

Except for the fact that she smiled at me, and then kissed Mike.

At then I felt my heart breaking.

Breaking? Shattering into dust.

I had to bite my lip so I won't scram my lungs out in anger.

They we're like "bye!" and I was like "bye!" (I wanted to say die but you know, it's weird. And creepy.) And I walked away.

But on the way home I felt anger boiling inside of me.

Not because they are together, but because he lied to me.

"No girls any time soon" yeah right.

Don't believe any guy with dreamy blue eyes.

He'll just break your heart.


	2. FOOLS

It's been a few years.

I finished high school as the biggest geek ever.

James is still my best friend.

Mike is now history.

My heart don’t even know him anymore.

The only one in my heart now is Josh.

After high school I started learning in a culinary school.

I'm a trained chef now.

On my way to this title, I met Josh.

He's like the way of the world to apologize for making me fall for Mike.

We've been together for almost a year now, and he's the best thing in my life.

He loves me, I love him, he knows when to be quiet so I could have a moment to think and he knows when to talk so I could get my mind off of things.

He's the only thing I wanted in life. He's the one that makes me smile when I'm sad, and he's the only one who knows what to say when I'm mad.

But nothing in this relationship is strong enough to handle what's about to happen.

Nothing he can say would make me feel better after this.

Because I woke up and he was sleeping next to me, my apartment this time.

Made us breakfast that got cold because he wanted to kiss me.

Then he was gone and so did I.

But when I got home, and waited for him, I got a text message.

Three words.

Known number.

But one I haven't seen since high school, since I was a part of a team working on some play.

It was Mike.

'I miss you'

And in that moment, everything crushed.

I thought I was strong, I thought my heart got better.

I saw his life for the past few years on social media.

With Ella, and then other girl, and another…

I felt nothing for the lying blue-eyed boy that once had a piece of my heart.

Nothing until I saw those three words on my phone screen.

Possible answers were 'I miss you too' or 'go fuck yourself' or ignoring it.

But I just typed 'you took a long time to miss me' and pressed send before I could think of it.

And it was a mistake.

'We need to talk' came seconds later and I knew I was screwed.

I saw his blue eyes in front of me and felt the heartache all over again.

No more whole heart, it was now broken again.

My mind told me to tell him no, but my heart wanted to see him. One last time.

'Where and when?'

'How close are you to our old school?'

'Like 20 min'

'So in an hour?'

'Sure'

My heart was pounding fast, I felt excited, but also scared.

What the hell am I doing?

I'm happy now, and I don't need him to feel happiness anymore.

But a part of me needed to see him, one last time.

Just one last time.

I'm lying to myself. I know that, but I don't care.

One last time.

* * *

 

I feel pathetic.

I'm standing in the exact same spot where I felt my heart break 5 years ago.

And I'm waiting for the one who broke my heart.

And I'm 10 minutes early.

'I'm meeting Mike' I texted James and he replied with 'fucking idiot. Keep me updated.'

I told Josh I'm going to meet an old friend. He knows that I got my heart broken when I fell in love with a blue eyed boy, but he doesn't know the whole story.

He doesn't know I'm meeting Mike.

And I don't think I should tell him.

I mean, we don't have a lot of secrets. But telling my boyfriend I'm meeting the one who made me hesitate before loving anyone else, I don't think it's such a good idea.

So after I texted him I don't know when I'm coming back, and that I love him too, I heard a shaky voice saying my name.

And right there I felt my heart breaking again.

"Hey Mike" I said and succeeded in keeping my voice from shaking.

"Hey…" he said and smiled, making my heart ache.

"Sorry…" I said after a moment of silent "I'm just…"

"Yeah me too."

And then he hugged me.

If I was looking from the side I would have rolled my eyes.

But I was standing there, with his arms around me. So I had to hug him back. And it made everything else ache just like my heart.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm… great. How are you?"

"Also great…" I said.

Everything was so weird.

"So, what… what happened in the past 5 year?" he asked.

I'll spare you the whole conversation.

We found a bench and set there, then I told him about my past 5 years, and he told me about his.

He broke up with Ella after a year. But I already knew that.

He had two more girlfriends, also knew that.

He had one boyfriend. Didn't knew that little fact.

After talking some more, and after I almost forgot about the boyfriend thing (no I didn't. can't forget this kind of things) he said that was the reason he wanted to talk.

"Ok please don't get angry" he began to say, and it made me want to roll my eyes again, I was so angry for so long. I can't get any angrier than that. "And please believe everything I'm about to say" another imaginary eye-rolling. "And just let me say everything before you react."

"Ok…" I said confused and tried not to get lost in his eyes, I used to do that before. Every once in a while, only for seconds. Every chance I had.

"Ok, remember that talk we had one day? We finished some show stuff and then began to talk about life?" he asked and I nodded.

"So while having this talk I thought about something that's been bothering me for some time. Back then I was straight as hell, or that was what I thought. Because I knew this one guy and I had this thoughts about him all the time, and after that talk I realized I was falling in love with him. I thought it was scary. I wasn't prepared for this. And then after thinking about it I realized I might be bisexual. But I was scared from people. So I got closer to Ella because I was a piece of shit back then. I thought it would be better to lie to someone about loving her instead of accepting who I am. I was scared that this guy wouldn't like me back. The whole situation was scary and confusing and… and weird. And after we had the show I saw this guy and felt bad because I've been lying to Ella. But I didn't knew how to end it. So I just rolled with it for a whole year." He stopped and took a deep breath. "After I broke up with her, I began to think about that guy. And I realized he might have liked me back then in high school. But it was too late. And I had some crushes, but none of them was even close to what I felt towards this guy. And now I know I don't have any chance… but I wanted to like…"

"Don't say that." I stopped him. "Don't you dare confessing your love to me now?"

"It took me time to realize it Ben."

"It took you too long."                    

"I'm sorry."

"You broke my heart, you lied to me, and you made me feel like I can't trust anyone."

"I broke your heart?" he sounded hurt and it made me angry.

"Yes. You did. By simply kissing Ella in front of me, days after you told me you don't think you're going to date a girl anytime soon. I'll be clear. You can't just come after 5 years and tell me you loved me. Because I had some hard time after that play, after falling for you, after getting my heart broken. But I'm good now. I don't need this."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry can't fix this" I got up and tried not to punch him in the face.

"Ben please…" he said and sounded like he's begging.

"Please what? Please forgive you? Nah. Please tell you I love you too? Not anymore. Please what Mike?"

"Please don't go. Please stay. Please."

"Fine. But I'm not going to fall again."

"I don't expect you to."

"Good" I said as I sat back down. Something has changed, there was tension between us, and it was gone.

So we decided to meet again.

I guess that hoping to meet just one late time was a wishful thinking.

You can't see this guy just one last time. Even after he broke your heart.


	3. WILD

It's been six months since I've met Ben again.

We've met every few days, and it made me feel really good.

He made me smile, and that was all I needed.

He always talks about his boyfriend Josh, but I don't mind. I mean, I hope they would break up but I'm happy he found someone good.

I'm still in love with this geeky chef, but I try to hide it as much as possible.

I catch him stare into my eyes sometimes and it make my heart beat faster and faster, but then he looks away.

I thought about kissing him. But I already hurt him before and I don't want to do it again.

I thought about running my fingers through his hair and holding his face while he's talking just to see what he would do. But I had to stop myself from doing that.

And right when I thought everything is going according to plan, he broke my heart.

I guess I deserve this.

But I wasn't ready.

We met, like always.

And after talking about nothing, he started talking about Josh with a cute smile on his face.

My first thought was how much I'd like to feel this smile against my lips, and I didn't heard what he was saying.

"What?" I asked and the look in his eyes was so beautiful I had to force myself to focus this time.

"Josh said yes."

"You've proposed to Josh?" I was confused, and I felt something in my chest that was hurting me.

"Yeah" he smiled "when I was away for a week, we went to Rome and I proposed"

"Wow" I said and tried to sound happy while having an earthquake inside of my heart. He just smiled while I was about to die from the pain.

This is how he felt. That's why he didn't forgive you.

"Would you come to the wedding?" he asked.

"Umm…"

"Please"

"Yeah… of course." I said while wanting to say no. while wanting to cry.

"Great" he said and smiled, but this time I wanted to see this smile forming other words than 'wedding' and 'josh'.


	4. BITE

'Meet me at the school at 7'

'Isn't the wedding at 7?'

'8'

'Oh. Ok.'

Mike was staring at his phone and let out a sigh, he was nervous.

Today he's going to see the man he love marrying another guy.

After getting dressed and ready for the wedding, he went to the school. Their old school, where they met for the first time after 5 years.

He got just in time to see Ben sitting on the bench where he confessed his love.

Ben wasn't dressed up.

He had a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Aren't you suppose to get ready for the wedding?" Mike asked and Ben smiled.

"There's no wedding."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Josh and I broke up few months ago."

"What?" was the only thing Mike managed to say?

"Sit." Ben said and Mike sat next to him.

"I needed to get my revenge. So… I made up a wedding. The truth is, Josh got jealous when I hang out with you and we had tons of fights. We broke up. That 'week in Rome' was actually a 'week at home' where I got over him."

Mike was sitting there, staring at Ben with surprised look.

"Are you saying…?"

"Yeah, I've been lying to you for months. About the wedding and about my perfect relationship."

"Why?"

"Because I needed this, needed to see you hurt for my own pleasure. To feel good with myself for once."

"You broke my heart"

"I guess we're even now."

"I can't believe it." Mike mumbled.

"Sorry" Ben said and Mike looked at him.

"I hate you right now, but I also really want to kiss you."

Ben blushed and Mike was confused from the words that came out of his mouth.

And so Mike held Ben's face with one of his hands, while he ran his fingers through his hair with the other, and his kissed Ben and got to feel a smile spreading against his lips.

Ben wasn't surprised that Mike's lips were so soft. He has been dreaming about this moment for years.

And suddenly, all of his emotions were awake and his heart got faster.

"Let's go to my apartment" he whispered against Mike's lips and felt his insides melting because of the way Mike whispered "ok"

He was so fucking in love with this man, they both were.

And it took long enough before they both got what they wanted.

Each other.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!  
> if you enjoyed make sure to check my fanfics blog, sorted-fanfics.tumblr.com  
> ♥


End file.
